The Virgin Mattress Contest

This isn't *my* giveaway, but if you need a new mattress, you might want to check it out.

It's The Virgin Mattress Contest - and it's a pretty cute idea. Submit a video about your current mattress, and you could win a brand new one!

If you win, I get to sleep over. :)

JumpStart 3D Virtual World

Even at five and two, my kids are computer geeks love technology. I swear they learned to maneuver a mouse earlier than they could walk. So you can imagine my first thought when I was contacted by JumpStart about reviewing their online kids' games: Yay! Something to occupy their time while I go to the bathroom in peace!

I mean, um, Yay! The boys will love this! 

Seriously, though, I was right - the boys DO love the JumpStart 3D Virtual World. There is sooooo much for them to explore! I promise you, no matter how old your kids are, or where their interests lie, there is something for absolutely anyone (trust me, I know ... I once stayed up until 11 o'clock playing a game called Punk-Punk Drop). And it's not just a list of games that you click on; it's a whole world that kids maneuver through using a little avatar called a "Jumpee" that they create.

Screenshots courtesy of JumpStart

The boys could choose their Jumpeez' clothing, accessories, and features, right down to skin tone and hairstyle. (Colin's resembled him, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Cameron's was dark-skinned with bright pink hair. Oh, and female.) And then they chose their Jumpeez' names: Colin BraveBear and Cameron ThunderCloud.

With their Jumpeez, the boys could explore the vast (huge, enormous, I'm-not-kidding-it's-gigantic) "landscape" of things to do, finding fun surprises as they clicked from world to world. One minute the Jumpeez were probing the depths of the ocean in a submarine, and the next they'd be giving a dragon a bath or designing a cute little house.

They could earn coins and stars, which they used to "buy" things like accessories for their Jumpeez. Some of the games were more educational than others, but they were all entertaining. Cameron loved StoryLand, the area designed especially for kids ages three to five. Now, Cameron is just two and a half, but even at his age there was a lot of stuff he could do. And I like the fact that you can choose whether to control the Jumpee with the keyboard or the mouse, depending on which your kid is better at handling.

Their favorite area was the Enchanted Sanctuary, where they could earn a special egg by collecting a certain number of hearts. Once they got their egg, they could decorate it any way they wanted to and then incubate it.

In one day, the egg hatched and became either a dragon or a pegasus (their choice): a "Mythie." After the Mythie hatched, they could name it, and then spend time playing with it, caring for it - even teaching it how to fly. Both the boys loved this feature, although Cameron needed a little help; it's geared toward kids who are a little older.

Overall, I was just so impressed by the variety. You could literally spend time on JumpStart for months and discover new things to do every day. And there are tons of features that, since my kids are so young still, we didn't even really get to use. Like chat: you can socialize and interact, in real time, with other JumpStart users. I can see that being an awesome thing for older kids, but for mine, it's a little advanced.

My one and only gripe with JumpStart 3D Virtual World is that it seemed a little "buggy" at times. It would freeze up or load very slowly once in a while. BUT - and that's a big but, much like the one I'm sitting on right now - it's been a long time since I've updated my Flash player and/or JavaScript or whatever other Internet-experience-optimizing-doohickeys you have to keep on top of. (Yeah, I'm tech-savvy, be jealous.) So the problems I experienced could have totally been my computer and not the website itself.

Bottom line? My kids really do like JumpStart. And I really do like that they're learning something while they play. It's a pastime that they can enjoy for a long time, no matter how much their interests or academic levels change - especially since JumpStart always seems to be adding new stuff to its already-huge repertoire of activities.

The best part is, they have generously allowed me to give away a FREE three-month membership to JumpStart! Would your kid (or heck, even you) like to explore the 3D Virtual World? Then all you've got to do is leave a comment! Bonus entry if you promise to name your Jumpee "Rita AwesomeBlogger" (just kidding, but that's a cool name, right? ... Right?). As always, I'll choose the winner in one week - that'll be Wednesday, September 22nd - via

Good luck y'all!

Disclosure: I was provided with a JumpStart membership at no cost by Knowledge Adventure in order to test the products’ abilities and give my own personal opinions on it. The opinions I have given are mine and may differ from others but were not influenced by the company or the free product provided.

EdenFantasys Gift Certificate!

DISCLAIMER: This blog's rated R for, um, raunchy. That's right, it contains material of an adult nature, y'all - so if you're in the habit of sharing the Frump with the kids (or, like, your grandma or something) then you might want to refrain from reading 'em this one. Similarly, if you see/talk to me on a regular, in-real-life basis and you don't wanna know what my husband and I have in our "goody drawer," well, click on over to the homepage and pretend you never saw this, k?
Because I am TOTALLY still a virgin.


It isn't every day someone gives you the chance to spice up your romantic life - for FREE. So when I was contacted by EdenFantasys (an adults-only online community and e-tailer) about doing a review and giveaway, I was on it like a cheap hooker definitely interested. Because - and I'm just gonna come right out and say it - everybody knows that once you get married, your "intimate interactions" tend to go down a couple notches. And if you're like us, married for almost a decade and juggling the demands of browsing Facebook work and three small children, fuhgeddaboutit. We lament about the lack of lovin', but on the rare occasion that we get the chance, we're both too exhausted to think about it. It takes much more to get us revved up than the promise of a "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" with a toddler banging on the locked door ("Mommy, where aaaaare yooooou?") - which is why I was so excited at the prospect of bringing out the big ...

... guns. (What did you think I was gonna say, you pervs?)

When the time came for me to choose what to review, I was like a kid in a candy store. EdenFantasys is a treasure trove of options, y'all - everything from the tamer end of the spectrum (things you can use on Saturday night and still face your pastor with a smile on Sunday morning) to the downright freaky-deeky. What I was most impressed with, though, was how comprehensive each product description was. With so many things to choose from, it would be easy to get overwhelmed - but everything is nicely categorized and easy for even a novice. You can see the product from several angles, see at-a-glance user ratings, read in-depth reviews, and get all the specifications - without having to click through a million links or pages. That really came in handy, because honestly? Some of these new-fangled vibrators and stuff look like something my teething baby would chew on. They don't all look like phalluses, pholks.

Anyway, after much deliberation, I finally decided on a game: 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex. And when it was delivered to my doorstep (in a plain brown box, y'all), I couldn't wait to open it. (I kinda had to, though, because there are some things I'm just not ready to explain to my kids.)
(Photo from EdenFantasys)

I won't go into (much) detail, but let me just say this: we loved this game. It does involve a little preparation, which can make it a little difficult if you're like us and "preparation" means just getting the kids out of the way for a couple of hours. You need a tray of little snacks to nibble on (and just a suggestion? Strawberries are more romantic than, say, Cheetos) and drinks, a scarf or necktie, and the proper bow-chicka-wow atmosphere. And according to the game instructions, you'll also need "Sparkling freshness everywhere," which made me laugh.

"Grrreat Sex" has lots of fun elements. Each space you land on brings you a different experience, and whether it's "Tease Me" or "60-Second Massage" or "Dress Up/Dress Down" or one of the other options - it's all good. Because I'm geeky, I especially enjoyed the fun trivia questions, like this one: What do men say is the MOST alluring thing about a woman?

a.) Her sensuality
b.) Her sense of humor
c.) Her body

(Ready for the answer? It's b: her sense of humor. Which totally explains why I'm fending the dudes off with a stick on a regular basis.)

When you answer these questions correctly, you get a Secret Sealed Seduction card - these are really fun. The ones with the bed on them are for immediate use. The others are surprises that you can plan out over the course of the next few days. Symbols on the cards let you know what you'll need to carry out the seduction: i.e. nice weather, transportation, a meal, and an idea of the price range (if any).

We haven't used any of our non-immediate seduction cards, because sadly, there's just been no opportunity. But the game is still really fun and really worth playing, even if you're only using the "instant gratification" ones. You can tailor it to your liking, and to your timeframe - which is really important to us.

The only drawback is that because it's geared toward slow and sensual seduction, my husband - though he's a good sport - always gets a little antsy toward the end. For example, during the game you get chances to write eachother secret notes and put them in a box to look at when it's finished. You can write sweet stuff, kinky stuff, whatever floats your boat. And I got a few really nice notes from Curtis ... but then the last one said, "I wish I would quit landing on Secret Notes."

Ah, romance. I mean, in the words of Elvis, "A little less conversation and a little more action," right?

Anyway, the bottom line? This game is worth checking out. And EdenFantasys is worth checking out, too - whether you're interested in the game or something a little more ... latex. That's why I'm giving one of you lucky readers the chance to win ... are you ready for this? ...

A $25 EdenFantasys gift certificate to spend on ANY KINKY THANG YOU WANT!*

*Or you know, like, a nice little book or something.

All you've got to do is leave a comment below, y'all. Don't be shy! Step right over and spice up your sexin'! I'll randomly select the winner (using, natch) on Monday, August 30th (mah birthday!).

Good luck!

Le Creuset Bakeware - UPDATED

I was BLOWN AWAY by the amount of entries this giveaway got! Whoa! Thank you all for commenting - but as much as I wish I could send everysinglecommentor this wonderful prize, there's only one winnah. And that lucky person is ...

... comment #34: Cher from The Only Girl! Yay Cher!!!

Next up on the giveaway circuit ... something lovely from EdenFantasys. Yep, it's exactly what it sounds like. ;)

I love to cook (which partly explains the unreasonable expansion of my thighs). Mama's pretty handy in the kitchen, y'all. And you know what would make me happy to cook in (thunder-thighs be damned)? These:

The beautiful Le Creuset 9" Square Baking Dish (and Bonus 5" Baking Dish!) ... in Caribbean. *cue Marimba music and bring me a drink with a paper umbrella in it ... pleeeease?*

The good peeps at CSN Stores - the place that has everything from cribs to candles to counter stools - have so generously offered to give one of my readers the chance to take home their very own set of cool Caribbean-hued baking dishes. Here are the specs on these babies (which are very appealing): they don't absorb odors or flavors. Their durable, non-porous enamel resists chipping, scratching, and staining. And the best part - they're safe for the oven, microwave, refrigerator, freezer, and dishwasher! So versatile! And anything that can be thrown in the dishwasher gets an A for AWESOME. If you wanna learn more about them, you can check out more details here.

As always, you'll have ONE WEEK to get your entry in to win these little beauties: I'll randomly select a winner on FRIDAY, MAY 28th. All you've got to do is leave a comment, people - nothing could be more simple (besides the use and cleanup of your new Le Creuset bakeware, that is)!

Go! And good luck! :)

Perricone MD Advanced Face Firming Activator - Updated

UPDATE: The winner of the Perricone MD Face Firming Activator is ... commenter #11 ... ALETA! Congratulations, Aleta!

I'm knocking on the door of my 30s, y'all. In a mere four months, I'll go from twentysomething to the big three-oh. I don't know yet how I feel about that - but one thing I do know is that if these lines on my forehead continue to deepen, I'm going to be mistaken for a fiftysomething. I mean ... seriously, forehead? Do you have to look so ... geriatric? I must walk around with an expression of perpetual surprise or something. I don't know how else to account for these:


Anyway, when I was contacted by the people at Perricone MD - the amazing skincare line that you've heard about oh, I don't know, everywhere - I was super-stoked. Dr. Nicholas Perricone is this dermatological genius, and his product line is world renowned. He's been on Oprah. This is big-time awesome, y'all.

Then I realized that it was a giveaway, not a review ... and it would not be my wrinkled forehead - but yours - that would reap the benefits. What benefits, you ask? The benefits from this little bottle of beautiful: Perricone MD Advanced Face Firming Activator.
From the Perricone MD website (because someone always says it better than I do): "Advanced Face Firming Activator transforms skin to appear firm, toned and absolutely glowing, while preventing further damage. Formulated with Alpha Lipoic Acid and DMAE that work synergistically to visibly resurface skin's texture, reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles and reveal a radiant and healthy complexion. Paraben-free."

Interpret as you will, but I think that means "makes your forehead or whatever else is digusting and wrinkly a whole lot less disgusting and wrinkly." Awesome. 

And at a value of $120? This ain't no drugstore wrinkle cure, folks.

So. To be the big winnah, all you gotta do is this:

- Be a resident of the U.S. or Canada (big fat sad face for my overseas peeps)
- Leave a comment saying why YOU want the Advanced Face Firming Activator

That's it! I'll randomly select myself posing as a reader the winner on MONDAY, MAY 3rd. So get busy leaving your comment, and tell your wrinkly friends to stop on by ... because one lucky person will be going home with the goods!