EdenFantasys Gift Certificate!

DISCLAIMER: This blog's rated R for, um, raunchy. That's right, it contains material of an adult nature, y'all - so if you're in the habit of sharing the Frump with the kids (or, like, your grandma or something) then you might want to refrain from reading 'em this one. Similarly, if you see/talk to me on a regular, in-real-life basis and you don't wanna know what my husband and I have in our "goody drawer," well, click on over to the homepage and pretend you never saw this, k?
Because I am TOTALLY still a virgin.


It isn't every day someone gives you the chance to spice up your romantic life - for FREE. So when I was contacted by EdenFantasys (an adults-only online community and e-tailer) about doing a review and giveaway, I was on it like a cheap hooker definitely interested. Because - and I'm just gonna come right out and say it - everybody knows that once you get married, your "intimate interactions" tend to go down a couple notches. And if you're like us, married for almost a decade and juggling the demands of browsing Facebook work and three small children, fuhgeddaboutit. We lament about the lack of lovin', but on the rare occasion that we get the chance, we're both too exhausted to think about it. It takes much more to get us revved up than the promise of a "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" with a toddler banging on the locked door ("Mommy, where aaaaare yooooou?") - which is why I was so excited at the prospect of bringing out the big ...

... guns. (What did you think I was gonna say, you pervs?)

When the time came for me to choose what to review, I was like a kid in a candy store. EdenFantasys is a treasure trove of options, y'all - everything from the tamer end of the spectrum (things you can use on Saturday night and still face your pastor with a smile on Sunday morning) to the downright freaky-deeky. What I was most impressed with, though, was how comprehensive each product description was. With so many things to choose from, it would be easy to get overwhelmed - but everything is nicely categorized and easy for even a novice. You can see the product from several angles, see at-a-glance user ratings, read in-depth reviews, and get all the specifications - without having to click through a million links or pages. That really came in handy, because honestly? Some of these new-fangled vibrators and stuff look like something my teething baby would chew on. They don't all look like phalluses, pholks.

Anyway, after much deliberation, I finally decided on a game: 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex. And when it was delivered to my doorstep (in a plain brown box, y'all), I couldn't wait to open it. (I kinda had to, though, because there are some things I'm just not ready to explain to my kids.)
(Photo from EdenFantasys)

I won't go into (much) detail, but let me just say this: we loved this game. It does involve a little preparation, which can make it a little difficult if you're like us and "preparation" means just getting the kids out of the way for a couple of hours. You need a tray of little snacks to nibble on (and just a suggestion? Strawberries are more romantic than, say, Cheetos) and drinks, a scarf or necktie, and the proper bow-chicka-wow atmosphere. And according to the game instructions, you'll also need "Sparkling freshness everywhere," which made me laugh.

"Grrreat Sex" has lots of fun elements. Each space you land on brings you a different experience, and whether it's "Tease Me" or "60-Second Massage" or "Dress Up/Dress Down" or one of the other options - it's all good. Because I'm geeky, I especially enjoyed the fun trivia questions, like this one: What do men say is the MOST alluring thing about a woman?

a.) Her sensuality
b.) Her sense of humor
c.) Her body

(Ready for the answer? It's b: her sense of humor. Which totally explains why I'm fending the dudes off with a stick on a regular basis.)

When you answer these questions correctly, you get a Secret Sealed Seduction card - these are really fun. The ones with the bed on them are for immediate use. The others are surprises that you can plan out over the course of the next few days. Symbols on the cards let you know what you'll need to carry out the seduction: i.e. nice weather, transportation, a meal, and an idea of the price range (if any).

We haven't used any of our non-immediate seduction cards, because sadly, there's just been no opportunity. But the game is still really fun and really worth playing, even if you're only using the "instant gratification" ones. You can tailor it to your liking, and to your timeframe - which is really important to us.

The only drawback is that because it's geared toward slow and sensual seduction, my husband - though he's a good sport - always gets a little antsy toward the end. For example, during the game you get chances to write eachother secret notes and put them in a box to look at when it's finished. You can write sweet stuff, kinky stuff, whatever floats your boat. And I got a few really nice notes from Curtis ... but then the last one said, "I wish I would quit landing on Secret Notes."

Ah, romance. I mean, in the words of Elvis, "A little less conversation and a little more action," right?

Anyway, the bottom line? This game is worth checking out. And EdenFantasys is worth checking out, too - whether you're interested in the game or something a little more ... latex. That's why I'm giving one of you lucky readers the chance to win ... are you ready for this? ...

A $25 EdenFantasys gift certificate to spend on ANY KINKY THANG YOU WANT!*

*Or you know, like, a nice little book or something.

All you've got to do is leave a comment below, y'all. Don't be shy! Step right over and spice up your sexin'! I'll randomly select the winner (using Random.org, natch) on Monday, August 30th (mah birthday!).

Good luck!